Sharpe Eyes

jennavation @ 2006-12-11T21:37:00

2006-12-11T20:37:21Z

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

'Supervisor'

2006-12-11T20:17:15Z

Tomorrow I am supposed to be going to Cardiff to meet with my 'supervisor' and I use that term loosly, to discuss why he failed my dissertation. I contacted him to ask if my father could attend the meeting too. I want my father there because in previous meetings alone with academic staff I have found them to be very rude and intimidating towards me (see previous LJ entries for examples). I just wanted someone there for moral support, particularly as I have a chest infection at the moment.

"Sorry Jennifer, but we will be discussing your dissertation and this has nothing to do with your
father. If you have issues that you feel we should discuss that are not directly related to
dissertation, you and I should meet with John Patrick (your personal tutor). If you are unwell, we
can postpone the meeting. Just to be clear, I am not holding a supervisory meeting with your father
in the room."

I don't know what I expected but the prospect of having to be alone in a room with the wanker who failed me and listen to 1000 things which I apparently did wrong does not fill me with delight.

In this meeting with my supervisor he is probably going to tell me all the things I need to redo to get the thing to pass. Well that is all well and good but I want to appeal the decision. To fail a student with my academic record is one thing but to be failed by your own supervisor, the person who is supposed to help you and support you is in my view disgraceful. As I mentioned before he never once told me I was doing things wrong. Failing your own student is basically just highlighting the fact that you did a crap job supervising them.

When I was told I had failed, John Patrick said to write him a letter requesting the reasons why I had failed in writing. I wrote to him 20 days ago but I still have not had a reply. It seems they just can't be bothered to deal with me. I think it is time to write to the Vice Chancellor of the University.

jennavation @ 2006-11-24T20:02:00

2006-11-24T19:02:42Z

I know I have not updated in over 4 months! Sorry. I guess I have not felt the need to vent until recently. So what has happened. Here is the good news. I gained a distinction on all my exams and coursework for my MSC and am about to start a new job with the police on Monday which is a fantastic position.

But

I got some very upsetting news this week which I still cannot quite believe. I was called up and told my dissertation has been failed and thus I have failed my entire MSc. If you know me you will realize how hard this is to believe, especially after gaining top marks on everything else in the course. Academically I have never failed anything and put 100% into what I do and what I write.

So far I have been unable to establish why I have failed just that it was failed by my own supervisor and one other person. My whole family are in shock and I am going to be appealing the decision as I firmly believe this is personal and due to the fact that certain key figures within the department dislike me. My dissertation was also on a controversial but none the less important subject and was perhaps too novel and creative for the morons of Cardiff.

All I have managed to establish is that the examiners were 'not clear how i went about my analysis' (which is blatently obvious if you read the method section). I have had to write a letter requesting more information as to why I failed. Certainly my supervisor never gave me ANY indication that my project was heading for anything less than a distinction. When he provided feedback it was about style issues such as indenting paragraphs, removing spaces etc. As far as I was concerned there was nothing wrong with the analyses.

The next few weeks are going to be very tough what with my new job and I am expecting to have to make numerous trips back to Cardiff. I'll be seeing my supervisor next week. I don't know how he can look me in the eye after doing this to me. Frankly am disgusted by him and feel like he deliberately witheld information that I needed to know in order to pass.

Anyway I think I have a good case for appeal.

1) I lost my original supervisor as he had a stroke and due to a University strike I was unable to find a replacement due to a clause about not covering for sick or absent colleagues.
2) This delayed my application to the ethics commitee as your supervisor has to sign off on it.
3) This delayed the start of my project
4) I was eventually offered a supervisor who was very negative about my ideas so I decide to approach 2 other members of the faculty and pitched my idea to them. I didn't actually refuse the supervisor I was offered, I just wanted to see if there was anyone else available before I settled with her.
5) The course leader, John Patrick, found out I was speaking to other members of staff and called me into his office where he erupted into a temper, demanded to know who I had been speaking to and referred to me as 'young lady' and other patronizing terms.
6) I wrote a letter to the vice chancellor complaining about how the strike had effected me and the lack of support I have had.
7) I was then contacted by the head of psychology who wanted to know what business I had complaining about his beloved department and once again I was called into his office and basically treated like a naughty child.
8) I went to see Lewis Bott who was my personal tutor. I told him about what was happening and he offered to be my supervisor. At the time I was very grateful.
9) There then followed a series of meetings with Lewis which were usually quite unproductive. I explained my idea and formulated a methodology and questionnaire which after a few revisions he okayed. After obtaining my data I went to see him about how to go about writing up my results and he gave me advice (some of which I disagreed with but did anyway). I saw him again when I had a rough draft of the final product which he again read and provided some feedback on. Never once did he tell me not to do something or that I would lose marks if I did it this way or that I might be headed for failure.

Other points worthy of note.

* Exams and coursework are marked anonymously, the dissertation isn't.
* As I said earlier I have gained maximum marks on all other components of the course
* I am the only one who had him as a supervisor.
* I am the only one to be failed.
* I have been unable to establish why this is but it seems that my project isn't 'scientific enough'
* There are no formal guidelines for writing your dissertation and I have read nothing that specifies what constitutes as 'scientific enough'. The responsibility to guide your project lies firmly with your supervisor.
* It appears that I have been misguided by my supervisor who has withheld important information which I could not have obtained from other sources.

jennavation @ 2006-07-06T15:01:00

2006-07-06T14:10:04Z

Hell yeah baby

I just got a phone call saying I got a distinction on my exams! That was unexpected. I may have to go to the university and check it is correct hehe. I wish I could say that was my final grade but I have a dissertation to write as well. But at least it will motivate me to work hard on it as I was getting to the stage where I was so sick of the course that I was going to put minimal effort in.

Also my mum is super awesome and bought me this gorgeous cream suit by John Rocha. It is beautiful lined and cut and will be just the thing for interviews now the weather is hot. I just hope I don't spill diet coke down it or something lol.

I've also applied for a couple of jobs so hopefully I'll get some interviews. My CV isn't too bad so I don't see why not, although I have not been for a job interview in about 4 years so I better get some practice.

jennavation @ 2006-07-03T21:58:00

2006-07-03T21:20:12Z

Hello everyone. I am back from Croatia. Damn it was hot, it reached 40 C which is 104 degrees f I believe. A 19 year old boy at our resort even dropped dead of heat stroke! How sad.

But anyway I had a lovely relaxing time swimming, canoeing, snorkelling, mountain biking and exploring. Sadly now I am home the work must begin.

Here are a few photos of me on holiday.

I'll be putting my 'proper' photos on my photobucket site when I get a spare moment.

I'm pulling a weird face but I like the pretty flowers

I like this picture. It was taken about 5am on our way to the airport.

Me looking out to sea a la a catalogue pose lol. I like my hair in this picture, it went a nice colour in the sun.

Me on the balcony

Me on the balcony again. Yes I liked that balcony. It sorta looks like I have superimposed my photo over a background in this one doesn't it.

<http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b371/jennavation/croatia%202006/pict0328.jpg"> This is me at a view point. Below you can see this famous golden beach on the island of Brac. We never went though because it gets pretty crowded.

Lastly this is me on the island of Hvar. I hiked up to this fortress and behind me you can see the port of Hvar which is where loadsa celebs anchor their boats. I didn't see any though.

This is me after I got back from a late night swim. I am wearing this awesome turquoise eyeliner which really was waterproof! See I do go slightly brown eventually :)

jennavation @ 2006-06-16T16:44:00

2006-06-16T15:46:48Z

I'm off to Croatia. Well actually I should have been off 2 hours ago but the 'rents are fussing about this and that. Luckily we are in a hotel tonight and not catching a flight until the morning.

Anyway see you in 2 weeks time.

jennavation @ 2006-06-11T22:06:00

2006-06-11T21:13:17Z

Hi everyone

Aaron finally mixed Metal Gear Dawn of Tomorrow

http://voiceactingalliance.com/board/showthread.php?t=13802

It is pretty damn good but hardly anyone seems to have downloaded it :(
It is already drifting down the page

What else. It is getting very hot here which makes me even less inclined to do anything productive. I managed to arrange 3 interviews before I go away on Friday. The rest will have to wait until July. My target is 20 interviews. Not sure I can get 20, but I'm not sure I give a damn either.

Phew it is humid. It smells like it smells right before a storm

jennavation @ 2006-06-03T22:05:00

2006-06-03T21:13:24Z

Now I am back at home I thought I would get more work done. But it just isn't happening. My motivation to do this project is so low, I hate the course and I have lost confidence in my ability thanks to numerous encounters with idiotic academics.

I don't know what is wrong with me. I know I need to get started on this project as it makes up 50% of my course, yet I just can't seem to get anything done. It doesn't help that my dad keeps putting pressure on me to find a job or reminding me every now and again that I should be looking. I know that, and I am! But right now I can only cope with one thing at a time and I am not even coping with that very well. If I don't get on with this I won't get 20 interviews and I'll have nothing to write about. I think the early stages of any project are difficult because they require a lot of planning and organization (which I am not that good at), so I am hoping things will get easier.

Cardiff Disaster Number..... **** I have lost count now

2006-05-26T12:40:20Z

My meeting with the head of school was a disaster

He twisted everything I said, put words in my mouth and took everything I said out of context. I was coming to him with a legitimate complaint yet he made me feel like I was the one that had done something wrong.

Lowlights of the conversation:

I said: Obviously you are very proud of your school
He said: I would refrain from making personal remarks about me IF I WERE YOU.

I said: My supervisor doesn't have much experience in Occupational Psychology
He said: Oh so you are questioning your supervisor's academic credentials?

He said: You should have come directly to me and not spoken to the vice chancellor as you have given the school a bad name
I said: In my experience you are better off speaking to the top. :p

I said: I think the course is tired and too theoretical
He said: Was I aware that the department was rated number 1 in the UK and that it was very highly respected? Was I also aware that the course is accredited by the British Psychological Society? (Of course I am bloody aware)

I mentioned my supervisor having had a stroke
He said: He implied I should be more sensitive and accomodating of the cirsumstances given that there is industrial action at the moment.

He said: You don't like Pat Wright then?
I said: No that is not the case at all, I just think we have different styles of working, I am grateful that she offered to supervise me but I wanted to see if there was anyone else with more similar research interests before I accepted.

He said: I should have made use of the student council if I had a complaint
I said: well that is largely dependant on your student rep
He said: Oh do you don't like your student rep then?
I said: Ummm No that is not what I said at all

I said: I am not the only student who has been disappointed with the course
He said: The Msc course has been running the same way without complaints and is externally vetted by the BPS
I said: Just because nobody has complained doesn't mean teh course is perfect. The course leader is very rigid and unapproachable so people may not have complained because they do not feel they can talk to him.

He said: Your e-mail says you felt there was a lack of support in the department, That's not true though is it?
Me: I certainly felt that way at the time.
Cue him analyzing every detail of my e-mail as if it were a factual document
I said: It is easy to scutinize someone's e-mail with hindsight but you are reading things into it that aren't true
he said: Well I am just trying to read it as if I were the vice chancellor
I said: Well you can read anything you like into an e-mail, that is the problem with e-mails

He said: In your e-mail you said you thought you should get an extension but you doubted you would get one. Why do you doubt that you will get one.
I said: Because my experience is that Universities don't tend to give out extensions very often. (DUH)

I said: I thought the ethics commitee were perhaps right to reject my first proposal because I did it in rather a rush, however I put a lot of time and effort (so did Lewis) into the 2nd proposal and I thought their objections were rather pedantic
He said: It is the ethics committee's job to be pedantic.

I complained about some aspects of the course
He said: Well people have been getting very good marks
I said: Well we have all had lecturers who have been very poor and we have had to go away and put in extra work and effort to make up for that fact. Good marks are not necessarily a reflection og good teaching quality.

Oh I had wanted my father to attend the meeting with me as I am aware that academics can get very defensive and quite rude. But he wouldn't let him attend because apparently this was an informal meeting. It was clear as soon as I walked in that it wasn't informal at all. The head of school had print outs of all my correspondance with the VC, with him, with the course leader, with my supervisor. It was like I was under investigation! I don't know how he got these records but it seems he had accessed my University e-mail account or got lecturers to forward him my e-mails.

The frustrating thing was that he remained very calm and calculating through the meeting and made it look like he was listening to me. But it was clear he was on the defensive and only paying lip service and was completely getting the facts wrong. I wish I had just walked out because I didn't even want to attend the meeting anyway, he was the one who said I should. But when you are talking to the head of school, someone who has the power to kick you off the course or effect your grades, you sort of lack the ability to be assertive.

jennavation @ 2006-05-22T21:42:00

2006-05-22T20:44:04Z

Okay I just got a weiiirdd e-mail from someone doing a maths PHD asking me to move in with him. It was sent to my uni account he had apparently tracked my name down lol. I don't even know him.

But he was describing how nice his new place is "Everything is new in the flat, wooden laminate everywhere, no carpets at all, a lot of outdoor space in front and the rear. The bedrooms are good siezd, provided with inwall wardrobe, desk, lounge is comfortable and kitchen as well."

Lol it does sound nice, BUT I DON'T KNOW YOU

In Recent News...

2006-05-06T22:00:12Z

I bought an Ipod. It is all black and sexyyy.
I have a new supervisor who is actually my personal tutor, which is fine cos he's nice.
I have gone home for the weekend
I did some VAing

Check out Tom's and my monologue for his series 'Natural Disasters' which will almost certainly kick ass.

http://voiceactingalliance.com/board/showthread.php?t=12830

I play Mary-Jane, Tom's character's sister. She is a little crazy and gets herself into a bit of trouble.

Oh and here is a new pic of me, it is rather large so I'll

Another Cardiff Disaster

2006-05-02T15:57:06Z

The supervisor saga continues. As you may have read. my dissertation supervisor has had a stroke and I have to find a new one. John, the course leader has put me with someone who I am not happy working with.

..................

I went to meet with two potential supervisors today... The problem was just as I was speaking to them, John Patrick the course leader happened to appear out of nowhere. So he probably heard me trying to arrange a new supervisor. Anyway I thought I would go up to his office and explain the situation to him. Big mistake.

I spoke to him and told him I wasn't happy with Pat Wright as a supervisor as I had my initial project meeting with her and it didn't go all that well. I said I appreciated her offering to supervise me but that she had been very critical and not in a constructive way and I didn't think I would be able to work with her. Then he said if Pat had critizised me It was probably because I needed criticizing. And I told him 'perhaps, but there is a way to go about it'. By this point I was feeling like I was about to burst into tears because his attitude was just I dunno.. he just didn't care and was unwilling to compromise.

Then he just erupted. He accused me of going behind his back trying to arrange another supervisor. He said that was "unacceptable behaviour young lady" He was so patronizing and condesending that I got upset. I couldn't help it. He was so rude and there wasn't an ounce of sympathy for the situation I was in. He shouted at me for not coming to him directly about this and I tried to explain to him that he had only phoned me on teh Friday and Monday was a national holiday. So what was I supposed to do? I also explained that I thought it would be easier to approach people myself and come to him when I had found someone. He didn't see it this way and I think he called my behaviour 'disgraceful'! I was just really upset and angry at this point. If he had any social skills or intelligence whatsoever he would have realized from the tone of my voice when he phoned me that I was not happy with the situation. In fact I even mentioned to him on the phone that I was making enquiries with Professor Manstead because Diane Hall (course secretary) had recommended him. I also asked him on the phone whether there was anyone else available? Any one with half a brain might have thought 'hm maybe that means she isn't happy with the supervisor I have forced her to take'.

He just kept going on about going behind his back and demanded to know who I had approached. I was hesistant at telling him and then he said something like 'you will tell me who you approached!' and so I did. And he was like 'well they won't be supervising you'. Then he went on again about how I had gone behind his back and behind Pat's back and that it is against the rules of the department. And I was like 'what rules?' There is nothing wrong with a student using their initiative and trying to make the most out of a bad situation! People approach supervisors independantly all the time! I did it for my undergrad dissertation and I did it before I handed in the project form. So how he can tell me I am breaking rules by doing that is beyond me. Nobody ever told me! All I did was send an e-mail to two professors explaining my situation and asking them if they would be able to help. I think at one point I actually said to him 'I can't believe you are speaking to me like this. I am paying a lot of money for this course' and he said 'well you are only paying £3000 and that is nothing considering the resources you have access to'. Yeah cos this course has been soooooooo wonderfully run hasn't it. No it has been crap and that is largely down to him.

He then said 'you will have Pat as your supervisor and that is the end of the matter'. His tone of voice was just.. like a headmaster telling off a pupil! And he said he would be going to the head of school about this matter and I said so would I. Then he said something like 'I don't want to talk about this anymore' and he turned away from me.

I walked out in tears. I was so angry and upset I could barely explain myself or argue my case. His behaviour was just unacceptable. How he can sit there and judge me and call me 'young lady' and talk down to me, accuse me of going behind his back and breaking rules that don't even exist is just beyond me. And to use words like 'how dare you' and describing my so called behaviour as 'disgraceful' or 'unacceptable'. You'd think I had just attacked someone or ****** a lecturer or something! I have done nothing wrong but he just stood there and judged me and shouted at me. Nobody has the right to make you feel that bad.

I ended up crying on the course secretary's shoulder cos I felt so terrible. He made me feel so small and like I had no power or control over the situation at all. Anyway she suggested I contact the head of school about this but he was away so I spoke to the acting head. She was very sympathetic and was aware that John could be difficult to deal with and very rude. She wrote down what happened and said she would sort it out. She also explained that because the university is on strike at the moment that there is a rule about covering for other staff members when they are sick. This is why nobody is prepared to supervise any more students, because it is against the strike.

But I shouldn't have to suffer because of this. This is my project, it makes up 50% of my course mark and I can't even START it until I get a new supervisor. This whole process has put me at a disadvantage. John has blown is all out of prportion. This could have been sorted out independently by me but now the issue has had to go to the head of the entire school because he has a problem with people taking control of the situation themselves and not involving him. Yes maybe I did go behind his back but it wasn't meant to be malicious, it was because I thought it would be easiest for all parties concerned. And I still think I made the right decision because given the way he reacted, I doubt he would have been at all sympathetic anyway.

jennavation @ 2006-04-27T16:55:00

2006-04-27T16:03:36Z

Good News: I finished my exams and I think they went okay

Bad News: My Dissertation Supervisor has had a stroke so I have to find a new one. And my course leader has put me with Pat Wright. This is not good. I put on my original form that I didn't want Pat Wright because I didn't find her very helpful and she completely ripped my idea to shreds which did nothing for my self esteem. I am actually quite upset really as i would rather have ANYONE but her. And I asked the course leader if there was anyone else that I could have and he basically said no.

This was my previous LJ rant about her:

"Oh I have not written about my disastrous dissertation meeting with this geriatric lecturer. I went in to pitch my idea on Informal Recruitment. I had eveything planned. And she just ripped my idea to shreds. She criticised EVERYTHING was negative about EVERYTHING and just failed to see where I was coming from at all. After a while I got so dejected with having to justify my reasoning behind things and wanted to get the hell out of there. She was not constructive at all and didn't help me one bit. Nothing she told me was stuff I already didn't know. Anyway I have spoken to other people and they think the idea is great. How she can think informal recruitment "isn't important" or interesting is beyond me. Especially when her specialist topic area is:

'Written information', cos apparently it comes in a variety of forms (NO ****) ranging from 'notice boards, office memos, e-mails, written explanations of how to use the photocopier'. I mean WTF is interesting about that?"

I think this is disgraceful frankly. I am paying a lot of money for this course and I should damn well get a supervisor I can work with. 50% of my end mark is this dissertation. I know it isn't anyone's fault that this has happened but for fucks sake there must be SOMEONE else who is prepared to take on one more student. It isn't like I would be any bother or anything. God this sucks. It is just one thing after another. I jump all the hurdles and someone puts another 10 down. I never get a break.

Men of Cardiff = Weird

2006-04-23T17:34:57Z

Okay yesterday I was walking back from the supermarket and these guys on the other side of the road started making... animal noises directed at me! I think I picked out a wolf/dog, a monkey and some random squawking bird. They seemed to think this was absolutely hilarious and were old enough to know better.

Today I was queueing up at KFC for my weekly junk food fix... and these 2 boys behind me.. must have been about 17/18 were laughing and messing about. And one thought it would be funny to blow on my neck. (I had my hair up so there was a lot of neck exposed). At first I dimissed it cos I though... who the **** would blow on someone's neck? But then I heard the other guy makes some whispered comment and he did it again! So I turned around and told them they would sincerely regret it if they did that again. And he was pretty shocked and apologised. But honestly. Who blows on someone's neck, in a public place and thinks they won't notice? Retarded people THAT'S WHO.

Anyway I have my Personnel Psychology exam tomorrow which is worth 70% of this module yet this does not seem to be enough for me to get off my ass and revise. Maybe I am quietly confident... I don't know.

jennavation @ 2006-04-21T16:33:00

2006-04-21T15:41:49Z

Well the exam went okay. I answered questions on...

1) Compare and contrast the employment contract and the psychological contract
2) Critically discuss theory and research on the antescedents and concequences of jobs satisfaction
3) On the basis of theory and research, what advice would you give to a human resource manager who wanted to improve leadership in an organization?

The first questions I didn't write much on but what I wrote was good. I basically think that the psychological contract is a load of bollocks anyway, but I said it in a more learned way :)

The second question was my strongest but I tended to focus on the relationship between satisfaction and performance. Hopefully I still answered the question

The final question is a load of crap isn't it? I mean could it be anymore vague? I spend most of the questions saying well the HR manager would need to conduct a thoughrough diagnosis, what are they trying to change, does it need improving blah blah blah so I barely had time to cover all the theories I wanted, and frankly none of them were that relevant anyway cos much of the leadership research is hot air. Who knows, maybe he'll like my approach

Anyway all in all it went okay and I didn't panic. It is hard to call these essay based exams. You are never quite sure how you did or whether you answered the question in the way they wanted. There doesn't seem to be room for much creativity or flexbibiliy in what you can say in psychology. They don't like people to have strong opinions, they like you to sit on the fence!

jennavation @ 2006-04-20T18:20:00

2006-04-20T17:28:01Z

I am majorly stressed about my exam tommorow. I know it is pointless to be stressed at this stage... but I am. I have taken a risk with the topics I chose to revise. If these topics do not come up, I am screwed. I may as well just walk out of the exam as simply I won't be able to answer the other questions.

But I had to take this risk because I simply cannot face preparing more than 5 topics. My brain simply will not cope. I am having a hard enough time remembering just these five and the person marking them really likes you to go into detail about things. Maybe I should have prepared more topics in less detail *shrugs* I don't know. It is too late now anyway.

Wish me luck people

Baby Pics

2006-04-16T11:13:52Z

I asked my parents if they had any baby pictures of me. They didn't have many unfortunately. I guess the novelty of having a baby wears off when the 2nd one comes along heh.

But OMG I was such a massive chubby baby. I don't think I weighed much when I was born but my god, what was my mum feeding me? I was huge and my head was massive lol. And I had this sorta evil grin on my face all the time.

It is kinda sad looking at the pictures as my sister had such an idyllic childhood before I came along by the looks of things :)

jennavation @ 2006-04-11T19:53:00

2006-04-11T18:55:21Z

Look was Jesse did to my beautiful monkey photo!

JennaVAtion: I think the meerkat looks like it needs to pee, or maybe jack off
Jesse51881: lol, I was gonna so something with that one, but I felt the monkey with a penis for a face was funnier

Zoooo

2006-04-10T22:43:15Z

Yesterday we went to the zoo, and I of course took all my camera stuff with me. I have this cool 400mm telephoto lens that my dad no longer wants so I nabbed it. It weighs about 1kg so with the camera body as well, it rapidly begins to feel heavy without a tripid. Still I think I got some good results. There is always a learning curve with new equipment I find.

Anyway here is a link to some awesome animal photographs. The weather was atrocious so lighting was a bit dull, but there are one or two I am really pleased with. The snow leopards and Tamarins are my personal favourites. The panda, mara's and tigers would have been great if they were sharper but that is what you get with animals that won't sit still.

http://s23.photobucket.com/albums/b371/JennaVAtion/

and click animal photography obviously. Feedback is always appreciated. I now have a greater respect for animal photographers. You need so much patience, a steady hand and lots of luck.

Losing a friend

2006-04-08T10:00:27Z

This day last week one of my sister's best friends who was also a friend of mine, was brutally murdered at a nearby station.

She's taken it really well actually, I think it seems to have affected me more than her, maybe that is to do with her Asperger's. But it is just so sad because he was a good person who was trying to make something of his life. He was also not the kind to provoke someone or get into a fight. I can't help but think about the way he died, of head injuries. And how he must have been scared and how I wish I had been there as maybe I could have done something. I know that is pretty pointless. I just hope they find out who did it and that they are punished. And I hope that Chris finds some peace wherever he is.

I'm okay though. Just kinda not myself yet. I can't concentrate on my revision and have no energy. I don't know how I am going to get through these exams.

jennavation @ 2006-03-30T18:39:00

2006-03-30T17:46:10Z

I think my stats exam went okay.

But when I got home I got an e-mail from the ethics commitee saying that they had rejected my dissertation proposal. I mean WTF, anyone would think I was giving electric shocks to children or something. Apparently I didn't give enough info on what statistical procdures I will use and I didn't put on the sample consent form that I would be recording the interviews. Well Particpants will know I am recording the interviews cos A) I'll tell them and B) there will be a recording device in front of them. I mean honestly. So now I have been told I am not allowed to approach anyone about my study or start it until I resubmit it for ethical approval. God knows when that will be, they only meet a few times a year. This is seriously going to delay my study.

Also, some of the people in my class are sharing their essays with one another for revision purposes. I did a presentation on Happy Productive Workers and then 3 of us were asked to write an essay on that topic. I am reading one of them now and by god this girl stole every one of my points in the presentation I did. She practically quotes me. :(

I seem to have a completely different idea as to what makes a good essay. I always thought a good essay had an argument to it but it seems that in psychology, a good essay is basically a review of the literature... with no independant thought whatsoever. I hate this course I hate it. I can't wait for it to be over.

Rough Night

2006-03-29T09:54:51Z

I woke up from a dream at 5 in the morning. I stretched a little... and the BAM there was this horrible pain down the back of my leg (calf). It was so bad it bad me nausuous and I had to physically pick my leg up and force it to bend at the knee to relieve the pain. This has happened to my other leg once before, but the pain was not this bad. I don't know what it is I have done, torn the muscle slightly or something. Whatever it was I spent most of the morning with an ice pack. I must stop stretching when my muscles are cold, but it is sort of a reflex action.

jennavation @ 2006-03-28T16:59:00

2006-03-28T16:02:26Z

Do You, Have You?
1. You can only say YES or NO.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you / comments and asks!

1. Taken a picture naked? N
2. Painted your room? N
3. Made out with a member of the same sex? N
4. Drove a car? Y
5. Danced in front of your mirror? Y
6. Have a crush? Y
7. Been dumped? Y
8. Stolen money from a friend? N
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? Y
10. Been in a fist fight? Y

11. Snuck out of your house? Y
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Y
13. Been arrested? N
14. Made out with a stranger? N
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? Y
16. Left your house with out telling your parents? Y
17. Had a crush on your neighbor? Y
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? Y
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Y

20. Seen someone die? N
21. Been on a plane? Y
22. Kissed a picture? Y
23. Slept in until 3PM? Y
24. Love someone or miss someone right now? Y
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Y
26. Made a snow angel? Y
27. Played dress up? Y
28. Cheated while playing a game? Y
29. Been lonely? Y

30. Fallen asleep at work/school? N
31. Been to a club? Y
32. Felt an earthquake? N
33. Touched a snake? Y
34. Ran a red light? Y
35. Been suspended from school? N
36. Had detention? Y
37. Been in a car accident? N
38. Hated the way you look? Y
39. Witnessed a crime? Y

40. Pole danced? Y
41. Been lost? Y
42. Been to the opposite side of the country? Y
43. Felt like dying? Y
44. Cried yourself to sleep? Y
46. Sang karaoke? Y
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Y
48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? Y
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Y

50. Kissed in the rain? N
51. Sing in the shower? Y
52. Made love in a park? N
53. Had a dream that you married someone? Y
54. Glued your hand to something? Y
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? N
56. Ever gone to school partially naked? N
57. Been a cheerleader? N
58. Sat on a roof top? Y
59. Didn't take a shower for a week? N

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? N
61. Played chicken? Y
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? N
63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? Y
64. Broken a bone? N
65. Been easily amused? Y
66. Laugh so hard you cry? Y
67. Mooned/flashed someone? N
68. Cheated on a test? N
69. Forgotten someone's name? Y

70. Slept naked? Y
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? N
73. Blacked out from drinking? N
74. Played a prank on someone? Y
75. Gone to a late night movie? Y
76. Made love to anything not human? N
77. Failed a class? N
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? N
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? N

80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? N
81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? N
82. Thrown strange objects? Y
83. Felt like killing someone? Y
84. Thought about running away? Y
85. Ran away? N
86. Did drugs? N
87. Had detention and not attend it? N
89. Made a parent cry? Y

90. Cried over someone? Y
91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? N
92. Dated someone more than once? N
93. Have a dog? N
94. Own an instrument? Y
95. Been in a band? N
96. Drank 25 sodas in a day? N
97. Broken a cd? N
98. Shot a gun? Y

An example of how lame some members of my class are...

2006-03-28T15:53:29Z

Today we had a lecture on leadership.

The earliest evidence (1960's) found that the only significant predictors of leadership capability were height and intelligence. So the lecturer asked us why this was. I answered that social class might have something to do with it as people from more privilidged backgrounds tend to have better diets, be taller than average and have better opportunities and access to education. Hence had more opportunities to be in position of leadership At which point about half the class burst out laughing...

And I was like WTF is so funny?
So I looked around the class and some of them were muttering about how stupid that was or that they didn't agree with me.

Sure I guess it is controversial saying that people from lower classes tend to have shorter than average children of lower than average intelligence, but it is actually a fact. But it seems they are too stupid to see that. I even said that obviously this is a generalization and there are exceptions.

Anyway the lecturer ended up agreeing with me anyway, but that is not the point. It is so rude to react like they did. I mean if I laughed everytime one of them made a stupid point or asked a retarded question then I'd be laughing all the fucking time. At least I actually have the balls to express an opinion rather than just sit there like a sack of potatoes.

And later on I made another point about another theory and one of the girls that laughed at me earlier said exactly the same thing as me (in a slightly less articulate way I might add). And I felt like shouting at her I JUST SAID THAT IDIOT!!! The lecturer politely said 'yes that is what Jen was saying', but none of the class seemed to realize she had just repeated my exact same point.

It just goes back to what I have been saying all along. This course does not reward people with their own minds and ideas. It rewards people that sit on the fence or tow the line. People seem scared to have an opinion or to disagree with the literature. I can't think of anything worse as a lecturer than having a class that justs sits there and takes everything you say as gospel. You need a bit of dicussion and for people to be critical of what they are hearing. But only a few members of the class seem able to do that. It is a shame. This course would be far more interesting with more of those people.

jennavation @ 2006-03-25T22:52:00

2006-03-25T22:52:10Z

Meme stolen from Magali

Your True Love Is an Aries

Why you'll love an Aries:

An Aries has the red-hot seduction skills to woo you

Never boring, an Aries will give you the romantic challenge you crave!

Why an Aries will love you:

You have the intensity and energy to go head to head with your Aries...

And the undying passion to keep an Aries coming back for more.

What Sign Is Your True Love?